F.R.I.E.N.D.S...... really???

This topic had been lingering for far too long in my mind.I was in a dilemma whether to actually publish this in my blog or not but when someone tells you that,"Jayant,you shouldn't be sharing each and everything about your life with me,it's your life.Live it as you want to."If that wasnt provoking enough,picture this dialogue,delivered a few months ago by the same person,"Jayant,its enough yaar.Now i can't bear it any more.Plz mujhe maaf kar do tum log."

I can't exaggerate how much I cried,what I felt,the desire to live was slowly being overcome by that to...........u can guess.Its not everyday that you feel disappointment,rejection,anger,guilt and countless such not so good emotions simultaneously.Your mind tells you to grow up,to let those people go to hell,not to waste your emotions upon somone who'll not even bother knowing how you are!But still,there's a voice that still urges me to keep faith,to forgive everything,put those things down to badly timed chain of events....probably it's left a scar beyond cure.


During my last semester vacations one of my family memebers told me something that I diamissed as rubbish at that time but now I can't overstate the importance of that sentence.

It was,"Friends are good enough only for college/school time.Once you get into your own lives, these people will not help you out.You have to face this world on their own, without expecting anything from anyone."

It has only been around one and a half months since these words were spoken(and neglected by me) and now I truly realise how true they were.I would rather like to modify it to....the word "Friend" has lost its meaning nowadays.All through my school life and even till now,I believed you make friends to interact,to share your moments,to rejoice in joyous times,to have a shoulder to cry on in not so happy times or simply to roam around,chat senselessly or do whatever that doesnt make you realise how time passes with them.This provoked another thought,"When you start counting the moments you are spending with your so called friends,when you dont know what to speak to them,when you say a "hi" or pass a reluctant smile just for the sake of it,when time just refuses to pass in his/her company and you still call the person a friend,there's something seriously wrong.
Now the word "friend" has become synonymous to parasite.



From some of my experiences over the past six months or so,I've started realising the value that sentence holds in my case.I've been known for getting too much involved in friends,sacrificing everything for them(including my grades) but that never bothered me.All these years of changing schools,cities and colleges,one is bound to have a laaaarge friend circle,so to say.But how many of them will really be there is a question I'm in the best position to answer.Without taking any names,all I can say is that I can count them easily on my fingers..............of one hand!!!


I have a principle about this whole thing:Make a lot of friends,but dont get yourself addicted to anyone as ultimately it'll be me who'll end up as an emotional fool.They tell you to wait for dinner,only to later say that they've had it somewhere.They'll tell you how much they care for you,but the truth is even if I were to die now,it'll take them a few months at least(if not years)to realise.You study with someone for a decade,spending each and ever moment from 8am to 12.40 together and now they'll not have the time to scrap/mail/sms/call you.Not that communication has been an important criteria in my friendship as it is somewhat an expensive business,but the desire should be there to make the most of it when life presents such an opportunity.Never really blamed anyone for this,but when you're shunned constantly,you're bound to consider all the possibilities..their placements,their own friend groups(of which I once used to be a part) and on top of all that,their SELFISHNESS.Frankly its reached a point where the word "hurt" has lost its meaning.Still, I'm grateful that I realised all this soon enough.


Emotions shouldn't have any place in one's life,as they consatnly initiate those clashes between your mind and heart which take up so much of your time and the funny thing is that the person concerned doesn't even realise this!!!

Hellooo...hang one,seems I've just been awoken from a sleep.What am I doing?Since when did I become sensitive to all these things?Who in the world has mattered that much to me that I start cribbing and crying??The answer is: NO ONE.

I might have sounded akin a depressed soul not willing to live any longer.hahaha..I can get overboard with emotions sometimes!
Just wanted to get this mess cleared of my mind before I start studying for my upcoming tests.
However,I'm confident of rising through,as depicted by the bird in the picture."How long" is probably a question no one can answer,maybe a lifetime would be enough!